Building relationships – gaining trust
Jo, who is a preschool child, has the fifth scheduled hospitalization; doctors are searching for a diagnosis. The child is with the father. When the nurse meets the child and the father, she first greets Jo and then the father. Next, she involves herself in the child’s play with a train. She does this before introducing the child to the procedural situation. The father said the following about the nurse’s way of building a relationship with the child: Very good, she makes Jo trust her. The nurse confirms this: When I meet a child without knowing how the child reacts and how he/she is, I will build a relationship, play with and talk to the child.
The starting point for the nurses involved building a relationship with the child by playing together in order to achieve the child’s trust. This was done before they introduced the child to the procedural situation. The parents’ role here was to support the nurses.
Securing – gaining voluntariness
After a while, Jo has to undergo different procedures. The nurse brings the equipment to measure oxygen and Jo’s pulse. She shows how it is done on her own hand, and then she wants to do it on the child. However, the father tells her to perform the procedure on him first. Afterwards, he lets the child play with the finger equipment. The father puts it on the child’s finger, and the nurse makes it exciting for the child by showing Jo the rhythm on the screen. The nurse then wants to measure the child’s blood pressure, but the father asks if it would be better to wait until the end of this procedure.
The nurse and the father collaborate when weighing the child and measuring the child’s height. They explain gradually what will happen. The child is on the scale, and the nurse and father stand on either side of the scale in front of the child. The nurse says the child’s weight aloud and boasts about how big the child is. Afterwards they measure the child’s height together. In the interview, the nurse explains the situation: I show the procedure on myself. However, not everything can be shown; one must try to render it harmless and show what we will do next. The father says: I am trying to keep the disagreeable thing at the end. It was done in this way, and Jo was not forced into things that he/she did not like.
In this way, the nurses together with the parents prepared the child to perform the required procedure. The father was active, engaged, and worked ahead of what was going to happen to the child. He often took the initiative. The nurse followed the father’s advice. Therefore, they limited the need to force the child and instead enlisted the child’s voluntariness. The parents’ deep knowledge of the child allowed them to become involved in these situations with different but collaborative contributions.
Distracting and comforting, and securing and gaining voluntariness
Upon seeing the blood pressure cuff in the nurse’s hand, the child starts screaming. The father then asks the nurse if she can measure his blood pressure first. She wraps the cuff around the father’s wrist and begins to measure. The nurse then addresses the child, who is in his father’s lap, and together with the father, they try to place the cuff around the child’s arm, but the child screams more intensely and turns away. The father says it does not hurt; it just feels a bit tight. The nurse decides it is best to wait, stops the procedure and says: Everything went well until we pulled out the cuff and the child screamed, wriggled and turned away. Then it was best to postpone it, because if you proceed, then the relationship you have tried to build deteriorates.
The nurse emphasized the child’s discomfort, and her choice to postpone the procedure. This way she maintained her relationship with the child; that was her overriding aim. The father had the overview of the situation. Based on his knowledge of his child, he supported the child, but the nurse made the decision to end the procedure.
Later in the day, the nurse says to the father that she would like to take a blood pressure measurement before administering the narcosis. As soon as the nurse with the equipment enters the dining room where they sit, the child starts to cry. The nurse says aloud that one should not do unpleasant things in this room, but that this was appropriate right now. The father quickly moves the child from the couch to the computer. The nurse and the father stand behind the child and bend over the child. The nurse sits down next to the table and plays with some small animals with the child on the computer table. The nurse shields the child’s view of the blood pressure measurement equipment, and the child forgets about it after a while and stops crying. The nurse says the animals’ names or alternates between doing this and asking the child about their names. They place the animals together in rows. The nurse asks about the sounds the animals make, and they make the animals’ sounds together. She maintains the relationship by playing with the child, and the father is participating in this play.
The nurse then stands, brings out the blood pressure cuff, and together with the father wraps the cuff around the child’s arm. The child protests and cries. They tell the child that it is not dangerous. At the same time, the father finds pictures of trains on the computer. He shows the trains to the child. The nurse, child and father look at the pictures together. The child’s cry calms down, and the nurse measures the blood pressure. When the cuff is tightened around the arm, the child cries more. The father continues to show new pictures, but the child start crying again loudly when the cuff is tightened on the arm. The father comforts and calms the child. The nurse ends the situation by talking about and playing with the animals with the child, just as they did before the measurement. The nurse says the following about the father: He was good at distracting and smart to say that it is not dangerous. He stayed with the child, took care of the child, and comforted the child. The father says: It may be my task as a parent to distract, comfort, maybe inspire, in order to change the focus and to forget about what is disagreeable.
The phases of distracting and comforting the child lasted a long time, and moved back and forth. In this way, the adults avoided or reduced the need to force the child into submitting to the procedure that worried the child. Nurses and parents collaborated in a dynamic way by distracting and comforting the child to safeguard the child and enlisted the child’s voluntariness with the common aim of performing the procedures and taking care of the child’s well-being. The father and nurse were able to establish a physical distance from the equipment by using the computer as a toy and by playing with the toy animals. Both the computer and the animals became tools for distracting and rendering the situation harmless to the child. The father’s deep affiliation with and knowledge of his child enabled him to take the initiative in some of the situations. The nurse inspired the father and also allowed him space to act. In a dynamic way, based on reciprocity, they complemented each other.
However, in some situations we observed that the responsible nurse might include other nurses for support, a move which sidelined the parents. This happened when the parents became evasive, which made the child feel insecure. In such situations, the focus was mostly on performing the procedure with less attention on the child.